As a psychotherapist who does grief counseling in Toronto, doing grief therapy is important and also hits close to home. I lost my father almost two years ago and it was the most shocking and painful loss I’ve ever felt. It’s hard to describe the loss, to voice and from words sufficient to express the hurt, turmoil and anger I felt. What I do know is that it changed who I was forever and made me think what it must be like for others seeking out grief counseling in Toronto.
Grief does affect us and so by default our relationships, not just romantic relationships. All relationships. It can find the little cracks and push at the edges, creating distance, conflict and discord. At it’s worse, grief can create a fissure so deep, a relationship can break down and end.
It doesn’t have to be like that. It is possible to grow closer, and have a more intimate, conscious relationship.
Sometimes, just being alone feels like the right thing. Pushing people away is easy enough when you are grieving. You can pretend you are fine, and most people will happily accept that because they really don’t know what to do for you anyway. Sometimes, we feel like a burden to others, that even our voice is too much for another. And while there is nothing wrong with being alone, isolating can be detrimental to you and your relationships well-being.
If someone else is in the grieving process too, sometimes conflict arises when grieving styles differ. One person may cry a lot. Some people sleep extra, yet some will have insomnia. Some compartmentalize and don’t even seem from the outside as if they are grieving at all. It can be difficult when it feels like you are being judged for grieving somehow the wrong way, for too long, or not long enough. There is no one way or right way to grieve.
Growing Closer in a More Conscious Relationship
By turning to your partner, or other close friend or family member, you can develop a closer, more conscious relationship together. As the one sharing the grief, it can be incredibly cathartic to be open and vulnerable with your pain. As the person listing and supporting those in grief, you have the opportunity to listen, support and offer comfort where no one can.
When to Seek Grief Counseling in Toronto
Grief therapy does not mean something has gone wrong with the grief process, or worse that something maybe wrong with you. Getting some support at a difficult time is a healthy choice. If you have found that you feel isolated, there is more conflict in your relationships than usual, you are feeling distant, or just that you would like to talk more than others do, that’s the time to find a supportive grief counsellor to help you through.
Just remember, you chose each other. Regardless if you are married, friends or constant companions, you chose to have one another in your life. You saw something in each other that brought you joy, love and comfort. You can make it through, reach out, talk and ask for help.
For professional grief counseling Toronto, please seek out The Beach Psychotherapy.