Emotions are your compass, this is something that I work with many clients at practicing psychotherapy. All too often, we let our spouses, friends and even bosses encroach on that compass and we lose our truth north. In your journey to seek the best psychotherapist in Toronto for you, you’ll have to use that emotional compass to find the right fit.
If you are angry or upset it could be that your boundaries are being pushed. The emotions are an acknowledgement of someone’s attempt at moving beyond your boundary.
They push. You get angry, and you promise yourself you will never allow them to push like that again. Then, over time, your anger fades, but they push again. Your anger flares, only worse the next time. Now you are not only angry because the same person is pushing you on the same issue, but because you promised yourself before that you would not let it happen again.
How to Keep the Boundary Up, Without the Anger
A boundary is simply a physical, mental or emotional limit that you have established to protect yourself from manipulation, being used, or otherwise violated by another person. It makes good sense that when someone pushes one of these limits that you will be upset.
In order to maintain good boundaries, without being upset, there are a few guidelines.
- You deserve to have boundaries.
- Some people make a habit of violating the boundaries of others. That’s not your fault, nor can you fix them.
- Decide what you will do outside of the situation. Thinking clearly is difficult in the midst of the turmoil.
- Follow through. When you decide what you will do if someone violates a boundary, do it. Actions speak louder than words.
Trust your emotional compass. If it tells you that your boundaries are being violated by someone, you are right. Boundaries are healthy, necessary and evidence of good self-esteem. Looking to improve your boundaries in all areas of your life doesn’t make you bad, mean or selfish. It’s you establishing a status quo for how you want to be treated. You can find the best psychotherapist in Toronto suited to you by listening to your boundaries. What a great way to get started!